What happens before you roll down hill

International Lighthouse Weekend

When the lighthouses gather together, will the ships be lost?

Stairway to Heaven

Brett has ascended. She is no longer of this earth. Luckily a local lampost witnessed the ascention, recording the dialogue on a secret tape recorder. The lampost stood very still throughout but promptly alerted Campbell after the last of Brett's beautiful foot disappeared into the clouds.

Brett: "Thank you, Lord, for showing me the way. I want to come and love your sky. Please show me how to get on the ladder. Amen."

God: "That's all right, angel. When you coming round?"

Brett: "Right now, if you'd just give me a hand-up. Why do you put your ladders in such awkward places?"

God: "I like to watch you look helpless."

Brett: "Watch it."

God: "Angel, before you can come to Heaven you have to know who's master."

Brett: "I surrender. You are my master."

Sky blue castinettes

"Beep, beep!"

The Hopeless Creatures

When something really important happens, it's an emergency and it's hard to get a good film because people are running all over the place and being shot at and you're caught in the mob. Anyway, we journalists do our best.




The terror, the terror! See how he falls!

Campbell: How much do you love Tracey?

Brett: Much as I like sardines